Bereavement
After Alec died, we read every book we could get our hands on, hoping to find words that would help us navigate this bewildering new life. We were fortunate to find a book, The Death of a Child by Elaine Stillwell, that spoke to us, that seemed to cover every emotion, every feeling that we were experiencing.
We researched places to attend bereavement counseling, and we cannot talk highly enough about its benefits. To be with other people who are in your same situation, to be able to express all the ‘ugly’ thoughts without fear of being judged is priceless. We formed lifelong friendships with the couples who were in group with us, who know us well, all the emotions you feel that it is hard for others to comprehend.
Even in this age of instant access, it can be difficult to know where to start. Below please find some sites that may be wery helpful:
- The Compassionate Friends:
www.compassionatefriends.org - Grief & Bereavement Devotionals:
www.devotionalresources.com - Bereaved Parents of the USA:
www.bereavedparentsusa.org - Healing Hearts for Bereaved Parents:
www.healingheart.net
For parents who witnessed the traumatic death of their child, who can have it play in an endless loop in their heads, there is a treatment available (EMDR) that, simply put, can redirect those horrific thoughts. Contact a mental help professional to find an EMDR practicioner in your area.
EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) integrates elements of many effective psychotherapies in structured protocols that are designed to maximize treatment effects. These include psychodynamic, cognitive behavioral, interpersonal, experiential, and body-centered therapies. EMDR is an information processing therapy and uses an eight phase approach. During EMDR, the client attends to past and present experiences in brief sequential doses while simultaneously focusing on an external stimulus. Then the client is instructed to let new material become the focus of the next set of dual attention. This sequence of dual attention and personal association is repeated many times in the session.
You are not alone in this new life; there are others who accompany you in your walk of grief. Reach out and help will be there.